Frankenstein Gums

The day of surgery is the worst. The anticipation of what is going to happen to you always ensures that you won't sleep the night before. I didn't.

I arrived on time. They were quick to collect my full payment in cash upfront. Of course my nervous energy responded with, "yes, of course you need your money before I were to die in the chair..." Just a smile and an "you'll be fine" response from the woman behind the counter.

I was escorted to a room by a man coughing up a storm in his face mask. Great. My mouth is going to be wide open for that. I need to stop thinking like this...it will be fine. So, he pulls up my dental xrays and prepares the room for the doctor. Of course I have to observe every single detail like...um, those aren't the xrays of my teeth.... Good thing I know what my teeth look in an xray. I immediately said something, "um, those aren't my teeth and my name isn't alicia." Nice start to the day.

As he said something like, oh, um sorry...my tension level began to peak. The doctor came in...heard me and tried to break the ice by saying, "of course those weren't your teeth. If they were, you wouldn't need to be here!" Was that supposed to be funny? Comforting? Um, I think neither.

They didn't mess around. Right away it was time to lean back...time to get busy on this! Even though I had an ipod in my ears, he wanted to chit chat with me. First it was..."what do you do?" Well, he knows I don't have insurance so...duh... Next was, "what did you do?" So, I said, "advertising sales." Which really sounded like.. "mafetttipphin mmaelsss" with all of the crap inserted in my mouth. Really, I have no idea why he decided to chat with me..it was all so frustrating.

He admitted that he wanted to calm me down by talking to me so he thought it would be best to talk about the economy next. Really? Seriously? He asked me if I thought it was on purpose...the fall of the economy. First of all, I have no insurance and no income. Second of all..shut the hell up!

I turned the ipod up. My hands are white from gripping them.

Drills, pressure, coughing from assistant, pain, shots, more shots, taste of blood, seeing blood on his hands, more drilling, pain, assistant coughing, more shots...ah, strike gold..he found a cyst. Going to get it checked. He was pretty vague about it, but said the infection was larger than he thought.

So, I have been sleeping all day. My gums look like Frankenstein. I took pics but way too graphic to show...today. Of course I looked in my mouth...pushing my cheek around looking at the damage and after picked up my one sheet to read the "what not to do" directions for me.

(1. Don't look in your mouth and move things around.

Sigh.

Recovery time now with Maggie.

Happy Birthday Mom. I'm sorry we couldn't play today.

Birthday Surgery

Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom! It's also the fun day I get to go to the dentist to have my gums ripped open, hoping that this "D.D.S., MMSc., etc." played a mean game of operation as a kid. I know I did. But, don't try to get me to play after my morning coffee.

Come to think of it...the operation is in the morning and he MAY be a coffee drinker. Didn't think about that. Ugh. I am trying not to think about it.

So, after telling you to look at the utube video of my surgery (which I didn't watch, by the way), I had my friend Dan watch it as I was sitting next to him. I couldn't get myself to look at it so I told him to narrate what they were doing..."Then what? What's next? Now what's happening...how about now?" All I had to do was look at his face. Oh yeah, and the several "Holy Shit's" coming out of his mouth with the look of panic.

So, Happy Birthday Mom!

I have been thinking of why I have a hard time asking for help. I am so fortunate to have wonderful friends that offer to take care of me if I needed it. I hate to put people out. I have always been independent and never wanted to depend on anyone for anything. My mom came to help me with my myomectomy last year, but my first thought was.."it's ok, I will be fine..." I know she wanted to help, and I am glad that she did. Thanks Mom!

I am sure that it will go well tomorrow. I hope it will go well...it better go well tomorrow. OK...I need to stop thinking of it. I wonder if the dental assistant would mind documenting the surgery for a blog. Maybe too creepy.

So, thank you all for your kind words and offers to help. I think I will be ok. Maybe it will be good luck because it's on mom's birthday. Yeah...that's it!

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!

Check out her beautiful sculptures on www.DianeBriney.com

How it Began

How did I make the decision to quit my job and travel the country? It wasn’t easy. It took several months to put my life dream into a reality, but I did it. You know what? You can do it as well!

I was working in a job for the past 7 years that was challenging at first, but since the company merged with another, it just wasn’t the same anymore. It got too political, wasn’t creative, and my interest in selling the product was non-existent. However, the flexibility and compensation were hard to abandon.

It all started at the beginning of the year. I continued to go through the motions of work, but my body had something else in mind. I went for a normal routine doctor visit to find that I had a softball size tumor in my uterus that would continue to grow if I didn’t do something about it.

In February, I had a myomectomy.

I spent a month lying on my back with nothing to do but think. That’s exactly what I did. I thought about my life. Where I’ve been, where I want to go, what I want to do. I am so thankful that this happened to me because otherwise, I would have just continued the day in, day out grind. Most people don’t have the opportunity to take the time to think about their life and what’s really important. In a way, the fibroid tumor was the best thing that happened to me. I was able to start a new life.

I quit my job.

I packed all of the things I thought I would need and grabbed my dog, Maggie for an adventure of a lifetime. We embarked on a journey across the USA in my little 4x9 teardrop trailer. Little did I know how much I would learn about myself. Not always easy. In fact, some things were a little surprising to me. Pushing my limitations. Every night wasn’t a, “yay, campfire time” experience, although I did have those moments.

I didn’t have a plan. There were a few places I wanted to go and a few people I wanted to see. Other than that, it was my planned dream of not planning. I would wake up, look at a map and decide in the morning where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. This is not a “normal” life, but what is “normal” now and days?

Today is day 3 of being home on a “pit stop.” I am still recovering from being on the road for 117 days. I think it’s because I have a hard time relaxing, among other reasons. In the next few days, I will share with you some of my thoughts and findings of being on the road.

I hope that through my experience, you may realize your own dream. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. However, because I made the decision, it gave me an experience I may not have ever realized in my life. I look forward to the next chapter and sharing it with you.