Three Years Of Living Life Without Alcohol

Today marks three years of living life without alcohol.  To some, that doesn't seem like a big deal but for me three years ago, it was something I didn't think I could do.

In some ways, three years went by pretty quickly but there were days when it felt that time slowed down so much that I could hear the seconds tick in my head.  I am grateful for the life I have today and wouldn't trade it for anything.  I am very fortunate to be healthy and have friends and family that love and support me.  I wrote about why I quit in the first place on this blog which seems like such a long time ago.  Looking back, I do wish that I journaled more about how I was feeling and what thoughts popped in my head.  Mostly for me, drinking was a way to escape a problem or it was used as a reward that quickly turned into a habit.  What do you do when you get together with friends?  Drink.  How about when someone gets married, you land a promotion, or you get a divorce?  Most likely, there is drinking involved.  I would say that in my social circle, alcohol was included in every gathering.  I didn't have any friends who didn't drink.  I'm sure if I did, I would question why they weren't drinking.

I am a few years out of my "firsts" and I have to say that I've changed a lot since then.  It's not just about having soda or water instead of a cocktail.  It's an entirely different thought process you have and one that doesn't change quickly.  I used to plan my life around alcohol.  Meaning, I would be sure that I wasn't driving or that I was staying the night if I planned to have cocktails.  It might seem hard to believe but I am a shy person.  A lot of the drinking was to have a couple of glasses of wine to take the social anxiety edge off so I wouldn't be so nervous and afraid to make chit chat because of my insecurities.  My brain thought that I would be boring or not fun to be around if I wasn't laughing and cracking jokes all of the time and being the one who entertained.

To me, life is so much more fulfilling when you're not spending most of your time drinking, thinking of when you are going to drink or numbing out in some fashion.  When I first quit drinking, I had to figure out what to do with all of the time I spent during happy hour or the hours the next morning trying to forget the pain, or trying to remember conversations.  It was during this time when I picked up a camera and I haven't looked back since.  Now it's a rare occasion when a day passes by when I don't take a photograph.  I am still a bit hard on myself and my personality is still the same, it's just that my head is clear now. I am not perfect, it's just that I am now living life the best I know how while working on being a better person in the process.

I write about my experiences with photography, travel and even alcohol because it's just my story.  Everyone has their own path and I wanted to be honest about mine so people understand that things can be possible if you want to make a change in your life, no matter what it is.  Sometimes with great challenges come great rewards.  I dont want to sound corny, but I know that to be true for me.

If you are searching, I hope you make a change or a decision that will change your life for the better.  It might not feel like it right away, or even for months but small steps do count.  If you stick with it (whatever it is) long enough the rewards will come.  For me, that decision I made for myself was 1,096 days ago and each day I am thankful that I made it.

Earlier blogs about what it was like to quit:
The first 150 days
One year of living life without alcohol

Update On My 39 Goals For My 39th Year List

I don't believe in "bucket lists."  When someone says that they have an activity on their bucket list, that means that they would love to do it but don't really want to plan it or push themselves to do what it takes to accomplish the goal.  Because really, there is no guarantee that we will live long enough to have the time to do all it is we would like to do if there isn't some sort of planning involved.  To me, a bucket list is the to do list that never gets completed and will die with you.  Because most of the time, it's in your head anyway and not written down.

There is something to writing your goals down.  I didn't want to at first, but once I did, I felt accountable to complete them.  On top of that, I posted them here on the blog so every now and then I will get reminders asking where I stand on certain goals.

If you have a blog or facebook, I would challenge you to post your goals to hold yourself accountable for them.  You will be amazed on how people will help you achieve them or push you to get them done. Even if that doesn't happen, they will be top of mind and for some of my goals, I did them without thinking.

Keep a mixture of goals that you can do in a day and some that would take some planning.  That way, you won't be discouraged if each goal is a tremendous feat.

So as you now know, I wrote down and posted 39 goals on January 5th that I wanted to accomplish during my 39th year on this earth.  I blogged about each accomplishment for a while when I completed a goal but for some reason, I stopped doing that. I thought I would post a brief status on where I stand on each of the goals I set out to accomplish this year.

39 things I will do for my 39th year in this world:

-Read 5 books from beginning to end without skipping ahead
This might sound easy, but I have a hard time focusing on reading a book.  My mind tends to wander a bit but there've been a few books that kept my focus and I would recommend both.   I have completed "When things fall apart" by Pema Chodron and "Leave the Light On" by Jennifer Storm.  "When things fall apart" was handed to me to borrow from a friend and I picked up "Leave the light on" at a book store in Proviencetown.  I loved them both!  I love stories of addiction and recovery and books on how to be a better person.  I prefer Non-Fiction over Fiction.


- Win one photo contest
I haven't won a photo contest, but I was fortunate enough to be chosen for a few juried art shows this year.  Once at MOPLA and the other at a juried art show at the 1650 Gallery in Los Angeles.  I have found that a big key to winning a contest is actually entering one.  


- Go skiing at least once this season
Um...not yet.

- Take a picture of Max in the snow
Completed! On the drive to Yosemite, we saw snow and I remembered my goal so I placed him on the snow mound to take a shot.  I didn't get the best picture and he didn't have the best time but, CHECK! Goal completed.


- Go to a tattoo show
Not yet - However I love tattoo art and photograph it wherever I see it.


- Publish a travel article
Looking back...I am not sure why I wrote this goal.  I have been traveling and away from my home since June and have been blogging about my experiences so I could technically say that each time I post is a published travel article.

- Sleep on a strangers couch
Completed! I have a few examples for this one and only one was an actually couch.  I met 4 people for the first time face to face so far on this trip.  Deb and Kim in Canada, Lauren in Montana and Amy in Ohio.  With these visits I slept in an Airstream, a couch and the floor.  

- Skinny dip in the ocean
Um, no but jumped in the ocean off the coast Maine in October.  That's even more challenging, right?

- Try indoor skydiving
Not yet


- Complete my house project with 5 shots together in a custom frame
I visited the Race Point ranger station again in Ptown this year, but didn't document it like I did the following year.  I still plan to group these shots together.

- Sell or donate everything in my garage
Before I left, I donated all of my work clothes and suits to a non profit group called "Clothes the Deal."  There are others such as "Dress for Success."  I would recommend doing this if you have nice quality dress clothes to donate to a good cause.  I still have work to do in the garage when I return.

- Host a dinner party
Since I haven't been home, this will have to wait.

- Take an art class
I look forward to doing this soon

- Wear a dress and go somewhere fancy
Um, no not yet.

- Spend a weekend without a phone, without texting, watching tv, or any kind of human contact
As much as I've wanted to do this, I haven't as of yet.  There have been times where I didn't have cell reception, but there were other campers around so I don't think it counts.

- Watch a local play production
Completed!  I went to see "Caberet" in Boston.  Wonderful.  No photographs allowed.

- Go to Mexico
Not yet.

- Run in a 5k race
Not yet.

- Go to a music festival
Not yet.

- Rent my home and live next to the water somewhere
Completed!  I've been renting my house the entire time I've been gone and this is one of the reasons I am able to do what I do.  It just happened to turn out that I was able to stay in a beautiful home on Bailey Island, Maine because of two very generous people, Adam and Susan.

- Spend time on an island
Yes.  See above. :)

- Take pictures underwater
I finally pulled out my one time use waterproof camera and took a few pics.  Since it's film, I will have to wait and see how it turns out.

- Win the lottery (you never know...)
I know...um, no.

- Volunteer
Not yet

- View a live show taping (preferably Oprah before she leaves)
Not Yet

- Write a book review
I'm not sure why I put this as a goal, but I did.  Once I finish my five books, I will post a review on one of them.

- Surf again
Not yet

- Ride on a train
I planned to take the train into Boston a few weeks ago but as it turned out, I was waiting on the wrong side and on the wrong tracks.  So, I saw the train I was supposed to ride on.  Instead, I visited the Museum of Bad Art.



- Take a long road trip (I think this is becoming a habit)
Currently in progress.


Last but not least...these are goals I completed at the beginning of the year that I've already blogged about.  You can click on them to see the blog. 
-Have my photographs displayed in a cafe'
- Bake a cake
- Take Max out on a camping trip with "trailie"

- Visit the Salton Sea

- Paint with something other than watercolors

- See SIA in concert

- Get a photo published somewhere

- Take a photography editing class

- Launch a site to sell photographs

 Spend a week in a cabin in the woods somewhere

Since these were written, I have had many other small goals that I've completed and some that am thinking about putting on a list for next year.  

I wouldn't call it a goal but one of the biggest decisions I've made for my life was living it without alcohol.  It's been over eighteen months now and it has been the best gift I've given myself.  It's not an easy road by any means, in fact it can be painful.  I have to say that my life has changed dramatically for the better because of it.  For those of you searching and wondering if you can live your life without it, you can.  You might lose friends, invitations, weight, and headaches but what you will gain is so much more valuable and precious...a meaningful life.

What are you going to do with yours?