Showing posts with label living life sober. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living life sober. Show all posts

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Three Years Of Living Life Without Alcohol

Today marks three years of living life without alcohol.  To some, that doesn't seem like a big deal but for me three years ago, it was something I didn't think I could do.

In some ways, three years went by pretty quickly but there were days when it felt that time slowed down so much that I could hear the seconds tick in my head.  I am grateful for the life I have today and wouldn't trade it for anything.  I am very fortunate to be healthy and have friends and family that love and support me.  I wrote about why I quit in the first place on this blog which seems like such a long time ago.  Looking back, I do wish that I journaled more about how I was feeling and what thoughts popped in my head.  Mostly for me, drinking was a way to escape a problem or it was used as a reward that quickly turned into a habit.  What do you do when you get together with friends?  Drink.  How about when someone gets married, you land a promotion, or you get a divorce?  Most likely, there is drinking involved.  I would say that in my social circle, alcohol was included in every gathering.  I didn't have any friends who didn't drink.  I'm sure if I did, I would question why they weren't drinking.

I am a few years out of my "firsts" and I have to say that I've changed a lot since then.  It's not just about having soda or water instead of a cocktail.  It's an entirely different thought process you have and one that doesn't change quickly.  I used to plan my life around alcohol.  Meaning, I would be sure that I wasn't driving or that I was staying the night if I planned to have cocktails.  It might seem hard to believe but I am a shy person.  A lot of the drinking was to have a couple of glasses of wine to take the social anxiety edge off so I wouldn't be so nervous and afraid to make chit chat because of my insecurities.  My brain thought that I would be boring or not fun to be around if I wasn't laughing and cracking jokes all of the time and being the one who entertained.

To me, life is so much more fulfilling when you're not spending most of your time drinking, thinking of when you are going to drink or numbing out in some fashion.  When I first quit drinking, I had to figure out what to do with all of the time I spent during happy hour or the hours the next morning trying to forget the pain, or trying to remember conversations.  It was during this time when I picked up a camera and I haven't looked back since.  Now it's a rare occasion when a day passes by when I don't take a photograph.  I am still a bit hard on myself and my personality is still the same, it's just that my head is clear now. I am not perfect, it's just that I am now living life the best I know how while working on being a better person in the process.

I write about my experiences with photography, travel and even alcohol because it's just my story.  Everyone has their own path and I wanted to be honest about mine so people understand that things can be possible if you want to make a change in your life, no matter what it is.  Sometimes with great challenges come great rewards.  I dont want to sound corny, but I know that to be true for me.

If you are searching, I hope you make a change or a decision that will change your life for the better.  It might not feel like it right away, or even for months but small steps do count.  If you stick with it (whatever it is) long enough the rewards will come.  For me, that decision I made for myself was 1,096 days ago and each day I am thankful that I made it.

Earlier blogs about what it was like to quit:
The first 150 days
One year of living life without alcohol

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Year 2010, Revisited

The good news about getting old and blogging is that you can look back to see what you did for the year.  Now that we are in the last two days in 2010, it's only appropriate to recap the year to see what I did to reflect on those experiences and make goals for the following year.

As you may know, I set 39 goals for my 39th year last year and am happy to report that I completed most of the goals.  Some were easy and I just needed to make time to do them and others were out of my control since it took more than myself to complete them, such as getting photos published in a magazine.  I have to say that it's been an exciting year and one I won't soon forget.

In 2009, I traveled the country in a tent with Max like I did this year so January was spent touring around in my city and putting up my etsy site.  Since I was hanging around Long Beach, it was only appropriate to get involved in the community and work with Scott Jones (Long Beach Person of the year) and his non profit organization, We Love Long Beach.  I helped them document the opening of the city's skate park and one of the many community breakfasts they have hosted in each neighborhood in the city to bring neighbors together.

In February, I had the opportunity to have my first art show in town.  I also stepped out and took photographs of barber shops, and went to a creative mixer that lead to a photograph published in our local weekly paper called, "The District."  Unfortunately, The District is no longer with us.

I began March by visiting the Salton Sea for the day to check that goal off of my list. I also baked a cake, painted, had a feature on the women's surf school las olas's website, took a trip to New York City, went back to the Salton Sea area to see Salvation Mountain and went on a camping trip to meet other ladies who love to camp and who love all things shiny.  I had a great time meeting these women that call themselves the "silver sisters" who camp together with their airstreams.  They allowed me to join the group even though I don't have an airstream but a silver teardrop trailer.

In April I started to prepare to get on the road so I donated all of my work clothes to "clothes the deal," I also had my first brave soul to be the subject of a senior portrait session, participated in a local art walk,  celebrated one year without alcohol, saw Sia in concert, and was selected to be a participant in the Month of Los Angeles (MOPLA) group show with a photograph I took a month earlier at the silver sisters rally.

In May, I took a photo editing class and decided to trade passions to own my first DSLR camera.  All photos up to this point have been taken with a point and shoot camera.  During this month, I also decided to see what an iphone was all about and started taking photographs with my camera on  my phone.   I spent most of the month going places to take photographs with both cameras even when I took an unexpected turn and ended up in the emergency room.  I felt the need to photograph that experience even as I was in the ambulance.  I also went on my first "sisters on the fly" gathering in Arizona, saw what life was like on a working ranch and finally traveling to my second sisters on the fly meeting in California.

June started out in Jackson Center, Ohio when I was asked to be the official photographer for Airstream's "Alumapalooza" event.  It was an exciting five days of meeting people from all over North America (and beyond!) with their shared love of Airstreams.  All of the people I met were so down to earth and friendly.  Even though the rain came and went, it didn't take away from all of us having a great time.  After the event, I put together a slide show of the people and activities that transpired during those days. At the end of the month, I went to a Johnny Cash tribute show, photographed the Long Beach Roller Derby, toured Venice Beach and then hit the road with my camera, tent and my dog, Max!


The first day on my adventure took me to Twenty Nine palms in triple digit temperatures to meet author and photographer, Candacy Taylor. Max and I then went to Big Bear and headed up North in the middle of the state and ended up in beautiful Yosemite. For my ongoing project, "Women's Work," I was able to interview and photograph some of the women park rangers of Yosemite during my stay.  The following weeks took me to Chico, Nevada City, and Lake Tahoe.  The heat was pretty brutal during this time so I thought the solution would be to drive to the coast and stay on the coast from Northern California to Seattle. On that journey, I met "muffin man," camped at a wonderful free site on the coast of Oregon, saw a hit and run in Tillamook, and ended up visiting my dear friends near Seattle. I toured the Seattle area for a while and then headed up to Canada to meet blogger friends, Kim and Deb who worked at a motel while living in their Airstream.

At the end of July, I headed back to America to camp in North East Washington and stopped in Spokane for a few weeks to visit my friend Cat. During that time, I photographed the Washington State University team Airstream project, herded cows on a working ranch, went to an art fair in Idaho, and met some great friends during my stay in Spokane.

In August I headed to Montana to visit Glacier National Park, and met and stayed with Photographer Lauren Grabelle.  From there I had to visit my favorite National Park, Yellowstone for a few days.  Even in August, it was hailing and temps dropped to 28 degrees.  During that time, Max kept me warm inside of the sleeping bag and was a trooper even in the sudden cold spell we were having.  After a few days in Yellowstone, we headed to the Badlands and then met friend, Kristiana Spaulding on her travels west in South Dakota. When I met Kristiana, it was my first stop at a motel 6 and a welcome one.  Max and I then headed to Illionis to visit Adriane.  It was the first time I took my cruiser off of the bike rack to take it for a spin with some very serious bike riders in Bloomington. During this time, some photographs I took were published in Airstream Life magazine and Nesting Newbies Magazine.  The end of August took me to Columbus, Ohio to meet writer/blogger Amy Kehoe.

September took me to the East Coast with my first stop being in Boston.  I stayed with artist, Ronnie White and was lucky enough to catch a Red Sox game in Fenway Park. Labor Day weekend took me to upstate New York to attend the third annual gathering of Westy owners for their "Westyfest" camping event. I headed back to Boston to attend a family reunion (I was a guest) and soon after that I was headed to one of my favorite states, Maine.  I met Adam and Susan at Alumapalooza in June and they offered Max and I to come visit and stay with them if we were in the area on our travels.  While visiting them, I was lucky enough to attend Jane and Paul's annual pizza party on Bailey Island.  Adam and Susan left to travel but extended an offer for Max and I to stay at their home while they were out and about.  Of course we took them up on their offer!  During this time, I met and got to know their neighbors Ralph and Dolly (Ralph's story was published in the Jan/Feb issue of Maine. The Magazine), ran into captain Andy and his yard ship in Rockland, met Susan of "Maine. The Magazine",  documented BINGO in the area, visited Red's Eats as much as possible and enjoyed the sights of the area. My best friend Dan came to visit me in Maine for a week which was a treat to see someone from home after being on the road for months. We toured the Portland harbor, went to Arcadia National Park and then drove together to Cape Cod before he left.

The beginning of October was spent in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Max and I were fortunate to be able to stay in the home of Lisa and Diane for a few weeks for the second year. We took advantage of the one sunny day and rode the cruiser around the ocean path with Max's trailer in tow. It was Max's first time in the trailer and I think he enjoyed it.  I love the cape and always will.  This time around it was a short visit.  After the cape, I headed back to Boston.  During this time, I started making my art boxes, finalized my Photography Website, met Sue Dooley for lunch, attended more BINGO halls, visited the museum of bad art in Dedham and hung out with Ronnie and her friends in Boston.

At this time, the leaves were changing and you could feel the chill in the air.  I headed South in November with my first stop being the coast of Delaware.  I drove down to Virginia while hugging the coast along the way South. I stopped in Myrtle Beach for some BINGO and headed down to Savannah, Georgia.  I loved this area so I stayed for a few days before breaking into the Florida panhandle. I met Rich Luhr and his family in a campsite in Destin, Florida for a night and quickly continued West on my journey.  My next stop was Mobile, Alabama and then New Orleans, LA.   I then drove west and stayed a few days in one of my favorite cities, Austin, TX.  In Austin, I met some great photographers and a few Airstream vendors and was lucky enough to be in the city during their East Austin Studio tour weekend.  Eventually I headed West to El Paso and then decided it was time to go home.

Once I was home, I made more art, showed in a few art shows and was finally able to get back into my house in December once the last renters of the season left.  I've been in one place for a month now and it has been an adjustment.  Living out of a car and being on the road can be a difficult way of life for some, but I got used to it fairly quickly.  Once I was accustomed to that way of living, staying put also has some getting used to.  I am still acclimating to the "home in one spot" way of life.  We'll see how long it lasts.

I am very fortunate to be able to do everything I did in 2010.  The year has been good to me.  I couldn't have done it without the help of old friends and new ones I met along my journey. Now that the year is over, I am working on my 40 goals for 2011.  So far, I've written down three.  It's not as easy as it seems but once they are written down, it's amazing how I hold myself accountable and look for ways to accomplish the goals...sometimes without thinking.

Thank you for reading about my adventures in 2010.  I look forward to sharing more in the new year with you!  Here's to the best year ever in 2011!

Monday, April 5, 2010

One Year Of Living Without Alcohol

A year ago today I woke up exhausted. I spent the weekend with some friends in Palm Springs and the moment I woke up that morning, I knew that I couldn't live this way anymore.

I was tired of the party. Tired of being tired.  Tired of having a great time, only to feel horrible the day after.  It was time to do something about it.  I decided to live my life without alcohol.  Most of my social interactions with friends involved having glass of wine or a meet up with a cocktail.  It's the stress reliever for the end of a hard day, a toast to celebrate an achievement, the relaxer curled up with a book or bath, a compliment to a nice meal, and the list can go on and on.  Have a bad day? Let's go out for a drink! Did you do something you are proud of? It's celebration time with some champagne!  You get the idea.

When I decided that I had enough, there were always doubts in my head and I am sure there were doubts with some friends that thought I couldn't do it.  The thing I had going for me is that I am pretty competitive so I wanted to "win," so to speak.  I didn't want the doubts to win or the doubters to give me a, "I didn't think you could do it" thought.

As far as roads go, this wasn't an easy one to take.  However, over time it's the best decision I have made.  I've learned a lot over the past year.  I don't talk about it much here since I don't want to bore you with the details and there are much more interesting things to blog about, but I did write about my experience for the first 150 days HERE.

I would have to say that one of the hardest parts about this decision is the social aspect.  People like to come together as a group and have a glass of wine and that is perfectly normal.  I have been the odd one out on many occasions and it's difficult for me because I want everyone to feel comfortable around me and at the same time, I don't want to be a bore to be around.  At first I received a lot of questions and drilling on my decision not to drink.  All I wanted to do was fit in and not be noticed.  This wasn't the case.  At the beginning I drank a lot of sugar free red bull and everyone loved telling me how that was going to kill me, as they sipped their cocktail.

What a difference a year makes.  I am thankful for the opportunity to live this life and feel everything there is to feel. It truly is a wonderful life.

In case you on the fence, here are 11 Benefits of not drinking:
1.) You remember conversations from the night before
2.) Savings of about $5,000 a year or more (alcohol, bar food, aspirin, etc.)
3.) I lost 35 pounds (say good bye to your booze boobs)
4.) You will strengthen your relationship with the people that mean the most to you
5.) You get to go anywhere you want at anytime without thinking, "who's going to drive?"
6.) You will gain a sense of freedom that you never had before
7.) The possibilities in life are endless
8.) You will have meaningful conversations with people and attract the good ones into your life
9.) No regrets and no apologies from when you did something or said something while intoxicated
10.) You will do things you didn't think about doing before
11.) You won't be so tired all of the time

So, it's just me.  The same me. I am still plugging along here in this life and soaking up all of the moments and sharing them here with you.  I look forward to the next adventure.  Thank you for all of your support during my continued journey.  Oh yeah, I picked up my little point and shoot camera and took some pictures in the last few months.  You can see some pictures HERE. I hope you become a fan.

A big thank you for all of my family and friends that supported me on this decision.  Now it's back to dreaming of an airstream life. I look forward to sharing more soon.